Romanticist

 

It has finally stuck me that this word sums me up in more ways than any other. I am a romanticist. I am everyday overwhelmed by finding beauty in the smallest of things. I love nothing more than a beautiful blue sky or a freshly blossomed flower. These are the things that give me hope and allow me to accept the struggles we all face.

Last night I was at an alternative/metal (music) bar with a friend, watching a band play and just soaking up the atmosphere. In that moment I was so overwhelmed by appreciation that I was unable to fathom any emotion less than pure elation. The crowd an army of modified youths, their bodies littered with tattoos, their lobes stretched frequently to over an inch, combined to form a community that I would be honored to be a part of. The sense of unity in the room was too much for me to ignore. Joint by a passion for music and an alternative culture everyone in the room seemed so at ease with themselves and everyone seemed to belong. It's displays of human connection like this that make me happiest. How wonderful is it that despite our differences a group of strangers can get together in a room and become truly united by art like this?

My second indication that I am truly a romanticist comes when I think of a clear defining moment in my life. It was last year when I was at a stage in which I had to work to think positively. Something had happened that gave me that awfully over dramatic feeling that nothing would ever be okay again. I was driving home from work the day after torrential rain had blocked many of the roads home. Despite my pessimistic mindset I noticed how beautiful the sky was just 24 hours after everything had looked so bleak. Not only was the sky now beautiful but the grass was greener and more flowers seemed to have blossomed. At this point I was reminded of the lyrics to my favourite song.

It won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.

It was then that I realised that everything would be okay. If in just a day the weather could go from borderline cyclonic to one of the most beautiful days I had seen why couldn't the same apply to my life? Nothing lasts for ever and that includes the bad times in our life. 

I had never been able to decide where I fit on the scale of optimist-pessimist but it is not quite clear that I am a romanticist and I quite like that. I like to think about beautiful things and it gives me immense joy that I am able to imagine beauty in every situation. 

This is not okay

I have made a post similar to this before but this time I am angry. Let me say this. It is not okay to victim blame. Full stop. No one is ever "asking" to become the victim of abuse, rape or harassment. I am use to getting cat-calls as I walk down the street and I shouldn't be. Unwanted attention is harassment, end of story. If one more male has the nerve to tell me that I should be flattered by the attention I will not hesitate to rip off his you-know-what and tell him that he should be flattered I touched it. I am not flattered by your sexual innuendo that does nothing more than make me uncomfortable and feel unsafe. In regards to victim blaming, it is never someone's fault that they get abused or raped. It doesn't matter how she is dressed, she is not asking for anything.

Let's talk about consent for a minute. Consent is not the absence of a "no" but the presence of a "yes". Once the word "no" is uttered in any situation there is no reason to continue what you are doing. Persuasion ending in an "okay" or a forfeit of resistance is not consent, in the same respect a lack of a "no" is not consent. Additionally, unless it has been discussed beforehand, if you wouldn't let her drive a car she isn't in a state to be giving consent. Wait. There is a lot more that I could say on this but I won't. I just want to finish saying that this is why we still need feminism. Feminism is not asking for women to have more rights than men, feminism is asking for the right for women to walk the streets safely, to wear what we want and to not fear for our lives or well-being simply because we were born female and want to wear a skirt.*


What brought on this rant? This video reminded me of everything we put up with on a daily basis and how scary it can be just to be a girl. 

Note: I recognise that it is not only women who encounter these difficulties, however it is women who have had to grow use to being cat called and harassed. We learn from the time we hit puberty to ignore this kind of unwanted attention and I'm not okay with that. 

*For the record: many of my friends and I deal with this kind of harassment when wearing full length clothing so no, it doesn't matter what she was wearing.