I've missed my Sunday deadline and as a result I'm being punished with a teaspoon of wasabi as set out by a friend a few weeks ago. So, I will have the promised video posted in the next few days. I could make a thousand excused for why I didn't post a blog in time, moving into my own apartment for the first time has kept me very busy and Sunday was the day most of our furniture was delivered, we don't have internet yet and as luck would have it my laptop is chucking inconsolable problems, but the point remains that journaists face deadlines regardless of what is happening in their own lives and I have failed to meet mine. A few friends have also asked for photos of my new place so within the next few days I will not only give you the wasabi video, I will end it with a tour of my new apartment.

The changing of our culture: Body Modifications

It has been drilled into me that two of my greatest passions cannot coexist. When I search myself for things that I love I am only ever certain of two things. The first is obvious, the reason that I am here writing this blog. I love words and want to be a journalist more than anything. I am even prepared to compromise, as I am told is necessary, my second passion. My love of body modifications.

I really can't explain this love any more than I could explain why I prefer skinny jeans to summer dresses but it just the same is a fact of who I am. This is a part of me that I love to express and it is something that I enjoy for myself and not for the approval of any other. However currently in our culture there is still a great deal of stigma around modified people, one that I (and many others I know) enjoy disproving. While we are doing our best to reduce prejudice towards modified people I know that it won't happen overnight and I tend to wonder if we will ever reach a time at which we will be able to have professional journalists, teachers and lawyers with tattoos, piercings and stretched ears.

My desire to be a journalist is stronger than my desire to be modified so I am prepared to remove my piercings the day I graduate or get an internship but I am inclined to wonder if one day myself, and other like me, won't have to make that choice.

It is a bizarre thing, our cultures hostility towards decorated people. I know that it stems back to times before my birth when body art was affiliated with gangs, violence and rebellion. This is the most common explanation that I have heard and it seems to be one that is rapidly evaporating as body body modification becomes more common amongst the wider parts of the younger demographic. One day today's youth will become the CEOs and nation leaders, will this cause a cultural shift? It would seem logical but let's not forget the trend to veer towards conservatism that frequently happens as people age. It only takes a look at the our current world status and an acknowledgement that many of the people ruling our world in suits and ties were the same protesting against the same principles that they now abide. Maybe this cultural shift that I dream of will happen, even if it takes decades. I can only hope, any progress is good progress in my eyes.

Australians all let us rejoice for we are young and, free?

Today is a day of national pride. We "chuck a shrimp on the barbie" and celebrate all that it means to be Australian. To me being Australian means a sense of pride in the diversity and multiculturalism of our nation. We are a nation largely of convicts and refugees. We came here in search of a better life and I sincerely hope that everyone has found it. I know that I am probably in the minority, but please don't let me stand alone when I say this. Nothing makes me happier than walking down the street and seeing another person speaking on the phone or to a friend in a language other than English. Isn't that amazing? That person has, more likely than not, come from another country to be in Australia. Of all the countries in the world this person decided that there best chance at a brighter future lay in our country and I find that the greatest compliment available. These people who easily slip between their native tongue and English are intelligent individuals whose presence in our society can only enrich our culture. This may have selfish subtext coming from someone who thrives on Indian food and Asian teas, but I can't understand why we would not welcome these people with open arms and hearts.

On that note I want to mention that only 2.5% of our population identify as indigenous. I know that regrettably in the past, and even more regrettably, at present we have treated and still treat these people inhumanly. I am among the population that wholeheartedly regret and apologise for our treatment of indigenous Australians and believe that it is only these people that we have taken so much from that I feel have any right to hold any ownership over this country of ours. I deeply thank the traditional owners of our land for sharing this beautiful place with us and resent any early immigrants who believe that they have a divine right over this nation and show hostility towards additional immigrants and refugees who are, as their descendants once were, looking for a better quality of life on our shores. Our country is one of the least densely populated, and one of the most economically stable in the world. We have built our country on a foundation of Indigenous cultures, European settlers, English convicts, Chinese miners, Jewish refugees and Kanak slaves, just to name a few. So please remember this before you decide that you have any more right to be here than a man fleeing from prosecution from Iraq, Congo, Afghanistan, Syria or any other country suffering conflict today. They are likely in worse positions than your descendants were when they arrived.

In saying all of this I am not trying to deprive you in any way of a sense of nationalism. Be proud of your country for we are great and we have achieved so many great things. Just be inclusive with your pride, we all deserve our spot in this country and someone who received their citizenship last week is no less an Australian than a 5th generation Australian. Our country is a wealth of natural beauty and agricultural gold, let's celebrate that. We are a democratic nation of people free from the fears of war, poverty and prosecution, let's celebrate that!

So cheers Australia, here's to many more years of fortune, cultural growth and development!

Happy Australia day. 

"As you get older you will gain a bit more control over everything. Don't let anyone, even your parents, break you. Find good people who care about you and surround yourself with just them. If you can't find them at first, find good music and fall into it and let it hold you until they come..."

-Davey Havok 

I have spoken a lot lately about expelling negativity and allowing yourself to be surrounded by positivity and it is something that is ever prominent in my life. As I grow older I'm becoming more secure within myself and allowing only positive people into my life is helping with this. 

There are two people in my life that would never suspect that they have such a tremendous effect on my self-esteem. They are just two people that I work with once or twice a week in a little pizza shop, but when I am with them there is never a dull moment. I have known for a long time that they are fun and lovely people but it was only last night, when we laughed so hard that my chest felt like it might cave in, that I realised that when I am with them I am fun as well. These two people probably can't even imagine my weaker sides as every time I am with them I myself can't even fathom anything less than the extreme confidence and happiness that I feel.

I think that it's important for your best friends not to be "yes" people, at least not to you anyway. Your best and closest friends need to be people who challenge you and make you better. Just a few days ago while driving two of my best friends to the movies the first in the car for the ride pointed out on more than one occasion that our conversations would quickly become very heavy (as we spoke about concentration camps and questioned our responses to potential inhumane treatment of our loved ones). The three of us are different people and I think that's important in the dynamics of our relationship.We need people to challenge us and be critical of our views or we may remain stagnant in our world views. 

Another of my best friends is someone that I know I can call at three in the morning when I am having a hard time and she will be my by side in an instant. I will be lucky enough to be calling this wonderful human being my roommate in the coming months. She is a girl more wonderful, caring and intelligent than words could ever do justice. She is that person that it is important to have in your life because you would never need to tell them a lie. She is too open minded and supportive to hide any detail from and she is the kind of friend that everyone needs to have in their life.

These are the kind of people that I have been privileged enough to surround yourself with, and although it took some trial and error, I think I have it right this time. Sometimes it is hard to find the people that bring out the best in you, but never stop looking. Sometimes the best way to love yourself is to see others love you first.

If these people are missing from your life know that they will come, provided you keep looking. Forge friends at every opportunity, you can never have too many. In the interim surround yourself with good music and things that you enjoy. There are some songs that it is nigh impossible to feel sad or lonely while listening to. 

 

You're not being very pleasant

After watching this video by my favourite author, John Green, I recently watched the 1950 film Harvey (that, admittedly, my father had been nagging me to watch for years. Sorry Dad). Unsurprisingly I did find it to be quite an important movie, as quirky as it may be. To me the point of the movie can be summed u by one quote that has suck with me. Elwood quotes his mother in saying, 
"In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant." 
This was important to me because I had spent to much of my time trying to be smart. I try to read all the right books, watch the right movies and listen to the right music. It was an exhausting part of my being that I felt the need to consume as much cultural knowledge as possible before my time was up, lest I grow old to be an uneducated proletarian.
While education and cultural knowledge are still important to me this movie brought me down into reality reminding me that knowledge was not all that was important in life. So for now I have chosen to be "oh so pleasant."

Herein lies the problem. Some people make it very difficult to be pleasant and finding myself sufficiently short of Gandhi's patients when words of cruelty are gushing out of the mouths around me. For me to respond in the words circling my mind would not me pleasant of me. Nor would it be pleasant for me to release my frustration to another by retailing the tail. I am forever attempting to better myself and I feel this is a necessary point for improvement. Can can one be pleasant when they cannot let annoyances pass over them like water off a ducks back? I will be sure to update when I have found a successful method to do so. At this point I would like to note that for my own personal purposes I have altered the statement to "kind" in place of "pleasant" as I feel that is a more desirable and more complete attribute that I would wish to have associated with my name. So, where is the line drawn? It is more kind to point out the ill-intentioned words and acts of others in a hope that it may advantage them, and others, in the future. Or is it more kind to simply keep ones mouth shut and choose not to participate?

Once again I end the week with many questions left unanswered. Perhaps as I gain life experience some of my questions will be answered. Here's, once again, to hoping.

Expelling negativity

This week I am filled with such tremendous happiness after making some positive changes in my life. Months ago now I bit the bullet and let go of the negative people in my life. While I knew that even though it was hard it would be good for me to let go of these people I didn't quite realise the potential for change this would have. The moment I made that decision and let go of the people that were bringing negativity into my life there was room for more positivity. While I'm still in the early stages of my new found friend and and romantic relationships I am so far extremely happy that I found the strength to move on of the people that were bringing me down. As soon as I stopped wasting all my time on people who make me feel down I was able to give time to those who raise me higher than I had been in a long time. I am grateful for all the people in my life and I am so thankful to those who helped me to realise that I deserve better.
So this is it. I have never really been one for new years resolutions, it being my belief that the power to change your life is yours at any given time and a new calendar year isn't going to give you the motivation to drop those 20kg you've been carrying around for 5 years. I however have made a resolution for myself this year. In 2014 I am not going to allow negative influences to weigh me down. I am going to recognise the good and the bad in my life. I am going to appreciate the good, and allow it to know that it is appreciated, and expel the negative. I am going to be braver and stronger than ever this year. I am going to grasp positivity by the proverbial neck and I encourage you to do the same. Here's to a stronger 2014. None of us deserve to be weighed down by negativity because we are afraid of getting hurt or hurting someone else. Sometimes, as I experienced in last years cull, it will hurt and you will wonder if it was the right thing to do but in the end removing yourself from negativity opens you up for more good in your life. It is worth it, you are worth it.

End cliche motivational speech 

 

Happy New Year/Getting back on top of things

Happy 2014, look around you, it's going to be a beautiful year.

Over the exam period and holidays I lacked in my posted and that is something that will end with the coming of the new year. I know every casual blogger/vlogger says that but we're going to do it. 52 posts for 52 weeks. So, roughly 5pm every Sunday I'm going to make it happen. Perhaps some sort of punishment should be inflicted if I fail to meet this deadline. A journalist has to be use to deadlines after all.
For now that won't be a problem because I have so much to tell. I've taken a break, thought about my life and the world, traveled a little and now I'm back with more ponderings than ever. Furthermore this year is going to be another one filled with adventures as I grow up and face the adult world. Sometime in the next two months I'll be moving into my very first apartment with my good friend Emily, I'll be getting my first job in Brisbane and for the first time in my life I will be taking care of myself like an adult. I'm sure this won't be without it's trials and there will almost certainly be errors but that's what growing up is all about and I will be sharing all my confusion and bewilderment with you, dear reader.

As an aside I would like to share with you a fun little thing I'll be doing this year. In my new apartment I will be setting up a jar in which I plan to fill with notes on which I will write all the great things that happen in 2014/all the things that make me happy. On NYE next year I'll go through the jar and hopefully it will be filled with things that make me smile.

Again, happy new year and good luck in 2014.

When is enough enough?

Some relationships are inherently bad for us but how do we know if it will be all worth it in the end?
A few weeks ago I spoke about expelling negativity from your life but sometimes the hard part is defining who and what is ultimately less positive and more of a weight pulling you down.
I, as I'm sure we all do, have certain people in my life that I consider dear friends but I sometimes have to take a step back and look at if they are doing me more harm than good. These are the friends that ridicule you, the boys that make you feel unimportant, the friends who use you as a leaning post, dumping everything one you until you're drowning in their problems.
How do we know when the point of a rough patch has been passed and you're now into poisonous territory? I don't think we can ever be subjective about this type of thing, there is after all a reason you are friends with this person. When you decide the relationship isn't worth it, and this has happened to me many times, you'll begin to remember every nice things this person has ever done for you. You'll remember every time they made you blush or laugh and every nice gesture they've ever made. What's even worse is that you'll begin to excuse every time they hurt you, every excuse they made will all of a sudden feel like the most legitimate explanation you have ever heard.
So, this is where we usually rely on our our friends to help us make the decision but does that ever provide us with enough closure? Do we feel any comfort in the ending of the relationship if we don't feel like the decision was ours? Sure our friends try to have our best interests at heart but they can never know the full story, can they? They don't know how warm and safe you feel falling asleep in his arms or how you've never had as much fun as when you had a simple picnic in the park with your friend. There's no way to explain that feeling to them and even if you could it would be meaningless when they haven't felt it for themselves.
This is where we need to remove what I've grown to call "breakup goggles." These rose coloured specticals dull our anger and provide us with doubt in our pending decision. How to remove them? I think the simple answer is to ask ourselves "does this person make up happy more than they hurt us?" That, simply put is your answer to whether we should allow them to remain in our life or not. A bipolar relationship with soaring highs is rarely worth it when there are also crashing lows. Instead of trying to measure the magnitude of highs and lows perhaps it is more beneficial to measure the duration of the highs and lows. After all, what are friends for if not to make us happy?
I know this is a simple answer to a complicated question but it's one I've been putting to use and for me it has opened my life to a vast change in which I have time and energy for positive people and it has been more than worthwhile.   

Romanticist

 

It has finally stuck me that this word sums me up in more ways than any other. I am a romanticist. I am everyday overwhelmed by finding beauty in the smallest of things. I love nothing more than a beautiful blue sky or a freshly blossomed flower. These are the things that give me hope and allow me to accept the struggles we all face.

Last night I was at an alternative/metal (music) bar with a friend, watching a band play and just soaking up the atmosphere. In that moment I was so overwhelmed by appreciation that I was unable to fathom any emotion less than pure elation. The crowd an army of modified youths, their bodies littered with tattoos, their lobes stretched frequently to over an inch, combined to form a community that I would be honored to be a part of. The sense of unity in the room was too much for me to ignore. Joint by a passion for music and an alternative culture everyone in the room seemed so at ease with themselves and everyone seemed to belong. It's displays of human connection like this that make me happiest. How wonderful is it that despite our differences a group of strangers can get together in a room and become truly united by art like this?

My second indication that I am truly a romanticist comes when I think of a clear defining moment in my life. It was last year when I was at a stage in which I had to work to think positively. Something had happened that gave me that awfully over dramatic feeling that nothing would ever be okay again. I was driving home from work the day after torrential rain had blocked many of the roads home. Despite my pessimistic mindset I noticed how beautiful the sky was just 24 hours after everything had looked so bleak. Not only was the sky now beautiful but the grass was greener and more flowers seemed to have blossomed. At this point I was reminded of the lyrics to my favourite song.

It won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.

It was then that I realised that everything would be okay. If in just a day the weather could go from borderline cyclonic to one of the most beautiful days I had seen why couldn't the same apply to my life? Nothing lasts for ever and that includes the bad times in our life. 

I had never been able to decide where I fit on the scale of optimist-pessimist but it is not quite clear that I am a romanticist and I quite like that. I like to think about beautiful things and it gives me immense joy that I am able to imagine beauty in every situation. 

This is not okay

I have made a post similar to this before but this time I am angry. Let me say this. It is not okay to victim blame. Full stop. No one is ever "asking" to become the victim of abuse, rape or harassment. I am use to getting cat-calls as I walk down the street and I shouldn't be. Unwanted attention is harassment, end of story. If one more male has the nerve to tell me that I should be flattered by the attention I will not hesitate to rip off his you-know-what and tell him that he should be flattered I touched it. I am not flattered by your sexual innuendo that does nothing more than make me uncomfortable and feel unsafe. In regards to victim blaming, it is never someone's fault that they get abused or raped. It doesn't matter how she is dressed, she is not asking for anything.

Let's talk about consent for a minute. Consent is not the absence of a "no" but the presence of a "yes". Once the word "no" is uttered in any situation there is no reason to continue what you are doing. Persuasion ending in an "okay" or a forfeit of resistance is not consent, in the same respect a lack of a "no" is not consent. Additionally, unless it has been discussed beforehand, if you wouldn't let her drive a car she isn't in a state to be giving consent. Wait. There is a lot more that I could say on this but I won't. I just want to finish saying that this is why we still need feminism. Feminism is not asking for women to have more rights than men, feminism is asking for the right for women to walk the streets safely, to wear what we want and to not fear for our lives or well-being simply because we were born female and want to wear a skirt.*


What brought on this rant? This video reminded me of everything we put up with on a daily basis and how scary it can be just to be a girl. 

Note: I recognise that it is not only women who encounter these difficulties, however it is women who have had to grow use to being cat called and harassed. We learn from the time we hit puberty to ignore this kind of unwanted attention and I'm not okay with that. 

*For the record: many of my friends and I deal with this kind of harassment when wearing full length clothing so no, it doesn't matter what she was wearing.